...while wondering what ever happened to Ricky Jordan

What the hell is John McCain doing holding press conferences with Joe the plumber -- and letting the guy take questions?!?!? Seriously. He knows less about foerign affairs than Sarah Palin, ("if Obama wins, it will spell the death of Isreal" -- wtf is that?). CNN's Anderson Cooper put it best when he said, "holding up Joe the plumber as an ideal of the Everyman is a good thing -- unless Jeo the plumber is an actual guy". With less than a week until election day, McCain doesn't need to be hiring Joe the Carny to do his bidding...Our latest electoral estimate: Obama 325 - McCain 213...We like to be fair here, so big BIG props to frequent target of wrath Bud Selig, for invoking his Comissioner super powers to decree that no World Series game shall ever end in less than nine innings. This is absolutely the right thing to do, rules be damned. If Game 5 would have been stopped after 5, (when most agree it should have), with Philadelphia ahead 2-1, and the Phillies would have been given the win, it would have cheapened the World Series irreparably. It would be like cancelling the damned thing over a labor disp---oops. Scratch that last part...One interesting note here is that, since the 1994 Fall Classic was cancelled, the Phillies held the National League title longet than any other team in history. Upon the completion of Game 5, they will have also played in the longest game in history as well (clock time)...They are reportedly passing out Palin 2012 paraphenalia at the VP candidate's rallys. Not cool. Seriously, you can't wait six days?...We're interested to see what the Republicans do after Election Day. They essentially have two choices: veer to the hard right and try to develop what for long has been considered their base; or head to the center, refashioning conservatism as a more fiscally-responsible alternative to the donkeys. We think the former would be a miscalculation. The Silent Majority is not a majority. They are every bit on the fringe as the unabashed flaming liberals of the left. The overwhelming majority of United Statesians are centrists. By going the Compassionate Conservative route (and we're serious here) that W originally set out on, the party can regroup in time for the midterm elections of 2010. If not, it's going to be a nuclear winter for the elephants. While names like Palin and Huckabee and even Bobby Jindal will be bandied about, remember this name for 2012: Senator Lindsay Graham of South Carolina. You heard it here first (and yes, he'll get the teeth whitened before then)...We're putting the finishing touches on the NBA Preview Edition. In the meantime, go Phillies!

Until next time,
Paz

...while wondering what ever happened to Geraldine Ferraro

Reason 412 we hate Dallas: About a week and a half ago, the Dallas Independent School District (DISD) RIF'd about 600 teachers. During a school year. Now, we had a hard time deciding which was worse -- letting an $84 Million budget deficit happen, or not noticing it until a month and a half into the academic year. Well, we did until this week, when the DISD posted 60 open teaching positions on their website. But, in typical Dallas fashion, it's no one's fault. School Superintendent Michal Hinojosa blames the accountants. Dude, isn't it part of a superintendent's job to actually watch the accountants? It's all right in line with the idiotic Weak Mayor, no one is to be held accountable system of mismanagement that is the hallmark of the City the Can't...Idiot of the week goes to Ashley Todd, in a walk. Just a couple of hints, dear. 1) If you are going to stage a bogus attack on yourself, do not include going to an ATM -- or anywhere else a freaking camera is present -- in the story. 2) If a crazed Obama supporter carving a B in your face is going to be part of the "attack", don't self-mutilate in a mirror. We're just saying...The McCain campaign really is on the verge of entering a realm of incompetence of Mondaleian proportions. The whole $150k to doll up Sarah Palin story is good fodder for late night comics and all, but the real problem here is that the RNC chose to spend ten times the amount of money on her clothing than they have on her top foreign policy advisor. In the GILF, the McCain campaign has a talented, articulate, attractive voice for their conservative base. The complete lack of effective management of that asset, more than anything else, is emblematic of how bad a campaign they have run...Big props to FOX for throwing a shout-out to the late Tug McGraw, by having son Tim, you may have heard of him, announce the World Series Game 3 starting lineups for the Philadelphia Phillies. Despite some lazy bats and horrific umpiring, things look good for the Phitin's, as they're up 2-1, with two more home games. And finally, from the The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same department, we leave you with this.

Until next time,
Paz

...while wondering what ever happened to Kevin Stocker

So there are signs everywhere that say the Tampa Bay (don't call me Devil) Rays will beat my beloved Philadelphia Phillies in the World Series. But right is on our side! (although Jesus may be with the Rays)

First the history -- the cities of Philadelphia and Tampa have met three times in the playoffs. The first was a 1979 NFL playoff game, in which the Buccaneers, in their first NFL playoff appearance ever, beat the Eagles 24-17. (Tried to find the classic shot of the rain pouring down the stairs at the Old Sombrero, from NFL films, but couldn't find it. This is a pretty good substitute, though.) Fast forward to 2002, and we find the Eagles, fielding arguably their best team in the Super Bowl era hosting the Bucs (in their new unis) in the NFC Championship game -- and losing 27-10. Tampa Bay goes on to win the city's first professional sports title. Its second came two years later, when the NHL's Lightning defeated the heavily-favored Flyers in their first-ever Eastern Conference Finals, 4 games to 3, before beating the Calgary Flames, to claim Lord Stanley's cup. So the straight up city vs city outlook is not good. Nor is the Phillies' history. Founded in 1883, the Philadelphia Phillies have reached the World Series five times, prior to this season. In 1915 they lost to the Boston Red Sox; in 1950 they lost to the New York Yankees; in 1980 they won their only title, defeating the Kansas City Royals; in 1983 they lost to the Baltimore Orioles and in 1993 they lost to the Toronto Blue Jays. Their all-time World Series record, by division: 0-4 versus the American League East, 1-0 against everyone else. The Tampa Bay Rays are champions of the American League East, and are the only team from the division not to thump the Phils in the World Series. And there's more. Taking into account the two rent-a-titles down in Miami, no Major League Baseball team from Florida has ever lost a postseason series. But worse than any of these potential pitfalls is U-F'er. While Philadelphia broke out a new alternate uni this season, Tampa went full-on re image, ditching the satanic prefix and going with an entirely new color scheme. So things don't look good for the Phitin's.

But a Tampa Bay win would be wrong on so many levels. Now, I live by a few sacred principals: Billy Joel rules; Al Pacino is greatness; I shall not date a woman closer in age to my daughter than me. (yeah, try google-imaging 'teenage girl' and coming up with something cleaner than that). These have served me well. Similarly, I have a basic philosophy when it comes to professional sports, to wit: no professional team should have a winning season or make the playoffs in its first ten years of existence; no professional team should appear in a championship game or series until their 21st year of existence; no professional team should win a championship in its first playoff run. These things should never, ever happen. The 1980 win was only sweet because of the heartbreaks that led up to it. The 1983 series was kind of anti-climactic by comparison. Victory without suffering is empty.

And these people do not deserve it. Not only has the Tampa Bay fan base not suffered nearly long enough -- they were nonexistent as recently as a month ago! espn.com's Page Two columnists recently posted a piece entitled "100 Reasons We Love the MLB Playoffs". Number 16 was "The sight of 45,000 new caps and T-shirts during Game 1 of the ALDS." And that's exactly what we saw at Tropicana Field -- which isn't even a damned field. It is a room. If there is a door, not a gate at the entrance and there is a roof above, you are not in a stadium -- you are in a room. Call it a dome if you please, but it is a room! And this violates another sacred truth: no team that plays its games on a rug, in a room, should ever win the World Series.

Phillies in 6.