...while wondering what ever happened to Craig Ehlo

Wow. Even we didn't think Flip Saunders could blow this one. LBJ and a bunch of absolute scrubs take the court and proceed to drop the first two games of the (L)Eastern Conference Finals. No shock here. Then Detroit loses the next four?!?!?!?! What!?!?!?!? The level of coaching ineptitude this requires is mind boggling. First, we're talking about Cleveland here. Think about that. The freaking river caught fire. They have the Browns -- who left the city then won a Super Bowl. The place is cursed. Second, the Pistons' talent level was ridiculously greater than that of the Cavaliers. They didn't belong on the same court. But what does Flip do? He takes Rip Hamilton, who our 14 year-old daughter knows is best coming off screens and scoring in transition and -- runs a bunch of iso for him? Idiotic. But not to be outdone, he takes his one-man stupidity contest to a whole other level. He takes his worst offensive player and runs him up against LeBron all series. Yeah Flip, you wouldn't want to, oh I don't know, make the guy run a little, now would ya? That coaching performance was disgusting and if Flip Saunders is not fired it's only because Joe Dumars doesn't have the balls to admit he blew it when letting The Greatest Basketball Mind of Our Time walk. Talk about a charmed life though. I mean, first Flip works for his college roommate, avoiding the guillotine he so richly deserved, until it came down to McHale or him, or roughly about as long as it took the Ford family to find the negatives Wayne Fontes was holding over their heads, then he falls into a job where his boss is afraid to break out the ax. We want his agent...That being said, on to the Finals.



Cleveland Cavaliers (50-32, 12-4 playoffs, 2-0 h-t-h)

San Antonio Spurs (58-24, 12-4 playoffs, 0-2 h-t-h)



PG
Aleksandar Pavlovic vs Tony Parker


Parker has calmed down a lot over the years and doesn't make nearly as many foolish mistakes. It won't be a concern here, as Frenchie will smoke this guy.


Edge: Spurs



SG
Larry Hughes vs Michael Finley


This is an interesting matchup. On a purely physical level, Hughes has the advantage. But in his stints here, here, here and here he has proven to have a bad case of Tin Man syndrome. Finley is hungrier and although he is not quite what he once was, he has enough left to contribute more to help -- or at least do less to harm -- his team.


Edge: Spurs



SF
LeBron James vs Bruce Bowen


Bowen is overrated and if he tries anything dirty, 'Bron will knock him on his ass. We called him out for two and a half series, but King James has arrived, indeed.


Edge: Cavaliers



PF
Drew Gooden vs Tim Duncan


Question -- now that their series with Detroit is over, will Drew Gooden have to take that patch of hair on the back of his head and put it back on Rasheed Wallace? That's about all that will be interesting here over the next few weeks. Gooden is a good number four guy, but he's playing opposite San Antonio's number one.


Edge: Spurs



C
Zydrunas Ilgauskas vs Francisco Elson


We're not really enamored of either of these guys' game, but we've always had much love for Z. Ilgauskas' stats are marginally better and you would think having better talent around him would have given Elson the better numbers, if only by osmosis. Not so.


Edge: Cavaliers




Bench
Jones, Varejao, Snow and Daniel Gibson vs Ginobili, Horry, Oberto and Udrih


The fact that you probably don't know which Jones we are referring to (Damon) and that we had to use Gibson's first name tells you all you need to know here, though you can look forward to Gibson winning the Tyron Lue Award for he who turns three good playoff games into a ridiculously large guaranteed contract, then promptly goes back to playing like a middle schooler.

Edge: Spurs



Coach

Mike Brown vs Greg Popovic


The incompetence of his opponent was so ginormous that Brown's own ineptitude was virtually ignored in the Eastern Conference Finals and in the entire playoff run. He did not have his team ready for Washington or New Jersey. If either team were a professional men's team, the Cavs would be sitting at home right now. And it's ok for your stud player to score the last 25 points of the game for your team. But to let him go out there the next night and feel the need to do it again? Here's an idea, Mike -- run some stuff for the other guys. Popovic is Groundhog Day. You get the same every day. And it will be good for another parade in South Texas.

Edge: Spurs


Prediction: Spurs in Five

...while wondering what ever happened to Mike Evans

Big props to New York State, poised to legalize ticket scalping. Think about it. You buy a stamp. Its value increases. You sell it for a profit. Perfectly legal. Perfectly sensible. Hell, you’re an entrapeneur. How is a ticket to the Islanders
/Bruins different? Besides, it’s be de facto legal anyway for a while now. How is StubHub or any other ticket “resale” entity that jacks up
the face value with a “service charge” any different than the dude in the parking lot at Shea
getting fifty bucks for a $23 seat? Now about those beer prices…You know, we’re no fan of Alex Rodriguez
, but he caused Totronto Blue Jays third baseman Howie Clark to win this week’s Homer Simpson D’oh! Award. Rodriguez
was on base in the ninth inning when Jorge Posada hit a pop fly to the left side of the infield. Passing Clark, Gay-Rod
yelled, “I got it”. Clark backed off, the ball dropped in for a single, Toronto loses the game. D’oh! Bush
league? Of course, but so was falling for it. Waaaaaa…Congratulations to former Sixer Marc Iavaroni on his being hired as the new head coach f the Memphis Grizz. After years of toiling on the bench, waiting for his shot, we’ll now get the chance to know, (you know it’s coming), the truth about 'roni
...This just in from the That didn’t Do a Damn Bit of Good department: The struggling Chicago Cubs, (redundant, we know), held a players-only meeting before their game on Wednesday versus the Florida Marlins. Then proceded to drop the game 9-0…Idiot of the week goes to Mark McGowan of England who, as a protest against the alleged cruelty to animals practiced by the Roayal Family, set up a table in downtown London and ate a dog. Which brings two thoughts: 1) Thank God the Queen doesn’t beat small children
. 2) How much did Michael Vick
get for the dog?...It works out well that Lake Show owner Dr. Jerry Buss was arrested for DUI the other morning, (yes, we said morning), because him being drunk off his ass
is the only way he’s trading Kobe…This week’s Yahoo Four-Star songs:

1) Jane Wiedlin Rush Hour Fur 1988
2) Jimmy Eat World If You Don't, Don't
Bleed American 2001
3) Patti Smith Everybody Wants to Rule the World
2007
4) Billy Joel Summer, Highland Falls
Songs in the Attic 1981
5) Nat King Cole Mona Lisa
Unforgettable 1954

…Laura Mallory, a bored soccer mom
in suburban Atlanta, is campaigning to have Harry Potter books removed from her child’s middle school library because they promote witchcraft. She clearly missed the memo we all got advising us that witches
aren’t real…Ewa Sowinski, of Warsau, Poland is asking psychologists to investigate whether Tinky WInky the Teletubby is gay
. Again, not real
…Hot purchase of the upcoming holiday season? The 2008 Men of Mortuary calendar. I promise we don’t make this
stuff up…Ashli McCall of Kissimi, Florida got pregnant and began to experience morning sickness. She couldn’t handle it, so she had an abortion. In a related story, teachers are amazed at the sudden, unexplained perfect behavior of ten year-old student Emil McCall…Phoenix Suns owner Robert Sarver gets our vote right now for 2008 NBA Executive of the Year, for hiring Steve Kerr
as President and General Manager. Because we won't have to watch him on TNT anymore...According to the AP wire, a second round U.S. military resupply flights for the Lebanon’s armed forces have begun arriving in Beirut, which points out yet another inconsistency of the Bush administration. It’s just blatant sexism when we eschew gay rights, yet support the Lebanese
…Speaking of Lebanese, how long until the Paris Skankton/Lindsey Blowhan prison porn video hits youtube?...Creekstone Farms Premium Beef, of Kansas wants to test all of its cattle for mad cow
disease. And the president wants to stop them. The rationale is that if Creekstone does the testing, it might force larger companies to follow suit. Now we wouldn’t want all that safety
, now would we?…In another stroke of genius, the Administration has rejected the European Union’s proposed carbon emissions-reduction target, stating the United States prefers, “setting targets in the context of national circumstances”, apparently not receiving the memo we all got, advising us the world is round and we all share the same air…As Barry Bonds approached Hank Aaron’s record, we have only one thing to say: ACL
…Warner Brothers and Universal Orlando Resort are teaming up to create a Harry Potter theme park in central Florida. It’s due to open in 2009. No word on Laura Mallory’s response...and Finally, to further show we're not the only ones to be uniform-obsessed, this
article shows there's a whole freaking city of us!

Until next time,
Paz

We apologize in advance for any errors. blogger.com's hyperling module is down again and we had to hand-type in all the code.

Spell-check's down too, so we know the post is mangled.

Also, when we google, "Steve Kerr Sucks", why does this come up?