28 March 2009

...while wondering what ever happened to Thelma Goodwin

So Vince Shlomi, the ShamWow guy got arrested in Miami for beating up a prostitute in a South Beach hotel room. His defense? The prostitute bit his tongue while kissing him. Dude -- never kiss a hooker on the mouth! How do you not know this?...Jay Cutler is a bitch. The Denver Broncos' quarterback is peeved that team management spoke with the New England Patriots about a three-way trade in which Denver would ultimately have ended up with a new quarterback, in Matt Cassel, with Cutler being shipped to Tampa Bay. So Cutler went public, pouting and whining and, after not being guearanteed that he will never be traded, decided to skip the team's first meeting of the offseason. Granted the meeting was optional, but as the supposed leader of the team, dude should have been there. Why does this make him a canine of the female persuasion? Well, other than the fact that he has never won a thing, we ask you this: If John Elway was told that the Broncos toyed with trading him, or Troy Aikman the Cowboys, Joe Montana the 'Niners or Jim Kelly the Bills -- would they have pouted? Hell no! They would have spent the next ten years working their asses off to prove how bad a move that would have been and every time their contract came up, they would have reminded the team. And you know what? They would have gotten P.A.I.D. Cutler may have made the 2008 Pro Bowl but ya know what -- Derek Anderson was there in 2007. Look at him now. Grow up, Jay. And while you're at it, grow some male genetalia...So now the levies are failing in Fargo. This may sound crazy -- but. With levies dropping all over the country, and a whole lot of people out of work, and the government spending a lot of money trying to put people back to work, well -- we're just saying...

There's a bluegrass band warming up in The Great Beyond, and it looks like they're down a drummer. When I started this blog, back before it was a blog, when it was just an e-mail sent to a few friends, I blatantly stole the format from Blackie Sherrod, formerly of The Dallas Morning News. But the spirit of the thing has always been Al Johnson. You've seen Al quoted here on occasion, usually when someone meets an unfortunate end. That started one day back in 1986 when someone took a header off Number One Main, in Columbia, South Carolina, landed on Main Street and got hit by a car. The newscaster said the car is what killed the guy, prompting Al to say, "it's just not your day if ya can't jump off a building without getting hit by a damned car." And a legendary line was born. Al is the father of longtime reader Robbie Johnson (Billyrob -- long story). He came into my life at a time when I really needed positive male role models. I was living in a strange state, my father had passed away far too young and I was lost as hell. He's always had a kind word, a friendly smile and a compassionate ear for me. And the patience of Job. Even when I got Billyrob arrested one time, just shy of our high school graduation, Al didn't banish me, as I had expected. Now, this probably had more to do with the trust he had in his son's judgement than any kind of an endorsement of me, but it is appreciated all the same, even to this day. Al has always worked. Always. If he wasn't actually at work, he was in his mad scientist laboratory out in the garage engineering and tooling and electritioning on something or other. He and Ann raised two great kids they can be proud of. And occasionally, Al would load up the drums and do a little playing. Al's late in the game in his fight with cancer, but he has fought the good fight, with his unique brand of pragmatic country wisdom. I am a better man for knowing Al, and I am greatful for the opportunity. The world will be a little less nice without Al. It'll be a little less inviting. And it will be a lot less funny. But as I continue on my journey that I hope ends up in the same place he'll be going, as I follow the chorus of angels, it sure will feel good knowing who's keeping time on the drums for me.
Keep the Faith, Al.
I love you.