...while wondering what ever happened to Doug Willams

Is this a great life or what? Boston openly tanks the last third of their season in an effort to increase their chances of getting the number one pick in the NBA draft, finishes with the second-worst record in the league and then drops to fifth when the ping pong balls fly. Ha! Take that, C-Men. (c'mon, we're more clever than that) (wait! who the hell was that, King Kong?) Anyway, to top it off, the Hawks move up from four to three, meaning they and not the Phoenix Suns get to keep the pick. Dallas, San Antonio, Denver et al hereby thank the basketball gods...Did you feel that? It was Panic! at the Disco falling off the planet...So Dallas has been awarded Super Bowl XLV. So can we get all of the, "Cowboys getting to a Super Bowl" jokes out of the way like, in the next week or so? Because they're going to get really old, really fast, especially for us non-'pokes fans...Idiot of the week goes to James Randy Moss, a Tennessee State Trooper, who pulled porn star Barbie Cummings over for speeding, found drugs in the car and let her go in exchange for a little roadside oral servicing. One problem -- cop cars have video cameras now. Oops...We've got love for our environment here at Scatttershooting and give big props to Dallas and the N-Y-C for their actions this week. First Dallas, which has a really nice skyline, is considering an ordinance whereby virtually all unnecessary lighting in the city will be doused from 2am-6pm daily. According to the proposed ordinance, all "decorative lighting, such as lighting that illuminates or outlines a building's facades", lighting on fountains, sculptures, flagpoles, landscape and business signs would be included in the prohibition. Coolest part? When we stumble out of a bar at closing time, we'll no longer have that harsh Gremlin-like reaction to the bright lights. And up in New York it was announced that by 2012 all 300-kajillion of the city's taxicabs must be hybrids. Now if we can combine this with a one-hour mandated daily period of silence in Washington, DC, greenhouse gases could be cut by 90%...This week’s Yahoo Four-Star songs:

1) Nino Rota Sicilian Pastorale The Godfather Soundtrack 1972
2) Shop Boyz Party Like a Rock Star None 2007
3) Billy Joel Opus 10, Air (Dublinesque) Fantasies & Delusions 2001
4) Fountains of Wayne Someone to Love Traffic and Weather 2007
5) Warren Zevon Join Me in L.A. Warren Zevon 1976

OK, we have a long-standing, well-documented hatred of American Idol. But, much like the milk in the back of the fridge that we just know is bad but can’t help smelling, we flipped over to the finale this week while what we were really watching was on commercial break. A few observations: Bette Midler does not need to be singing in public. Ever. Honestly, her rendition of Wind Beneath My Wings was like a bad drag show karaoke contest. So we quickly switched away. We go back and Reuben Studdard walks onstage. Dude – brother was sweating like a stuck pig. And he had literally just walked onstage. We stuck around because we were absolutely convinced he was going to drop dead at any second. He didn’t. We caught about 30 seconds of Kelly Clarkson, proving yet again she is an anomaly – someone on the show who actually has talent. We also caught a glimpse of Carrie Underwood. Girl needs to cover up those knees. From head to thigh a total hottie. You get to the knees and it’s all over. What was she, a football player? Taylor Hicks looked like he was having a stroke while singing, and there was something called a Sanjaya on. Finally, we saw Paula. We had heard she broke her nose tripping over her dog. She looked fine to us. Steve Nash sure could have used her corner man…The Stanley Cup Finals are set to begin and since our luck (and it is just that) appears to be changing, we’re going to actually provide detailed analysis to back up our prediction. We’re torn here by two powerful forces: our inherent Canadian envy and the Uniform Theory. On one hand, the Ottawa Senators. And expansion team (we don’t count a team as established until they’ve been around for 20 years) who has paid their dues and built the right way. In a city that nobody remembers is the capital of Canada. (sorry, Toronto). Plus, they are one of the teams that makes us love hockey owners above all. A few years back, they drafted Alexi Yashin, who decided he didn’t want to play for the Sens. So they – let him sit. Two years. Then, when their rights expired and he went back into the pool, they drafted him again. He signed. We can’t put into words how much we love owners with ball like that. Meanwhile, the Ducks are one of the few “new” teams in the United States that aren’t the result of a Canadian defection. They are locally-owned by a conscientious couple who, as one of their first acts put everything on the table for review, including the ridiculous “Mighty Ducks of Anaheim” name. (OK, nothing can be as bad as the "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim", but still). They ended up as simply the Ducks and after knocking on the door for a while, they too are in their first Finals – in the season they changed their uniforms. The uniform factor is a hard one to ignore. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers went from this to this and won a Super Bowl. The Cincinnati Bengals went from this to this and went to two Super Bowls. The Dallas Mavericks went from this to this and became a perennial title contender. Hell, across the Ducks’ own parking lot, the Angels went from this to this and won a World Series. And it works in reverse, too. The Indiana Pacers of these years were regular visitors to the postseason and occasional legitimate contenders. Since this happened, they’re Indy .500. So while our heart will be in Ottawa, we thing Lord Stanley will be moving to Southern California. Anaheim in Seven…So Congress finally got their act together and passed funding for the war that did not include any deadlines for pulling out. That’s a good thing. Putting an artificial deadline on things only endangers lives and emboldens the enemy. This was a good veto by the president that produced a bill that makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is Bush’s comments afterward. General David Petraeus, the top dog in Iraq, has promised to give a full progress report to Congress in September. Again, this is a good thing. Said our president, “It could make August a tough month, because, you see, what they’re going to try to do is kill as many innocent people as they can to try to influence the debate here at home.” Huh? Let me get this right – if I am an al-Queda terrorist and I know the United States Congress is going to be taking a look at things in September, I’m going to show my ass and give more credibility to those who want to stay? No. What I will do is lie low in June, July and August, giving a false sense of security, wait for the Americans to leave, then go bad on everyone. Whether that will happen or not is not the point. The real problem is that we have as president a man who uses fundamentally (no pun intended) flawed logic on a regular basis. While he appears to be on the right track in terms of going all or nothing – if we’re already over there, we might as well flood the place with troops and do it right – statements like the one above lead one to honestly question whether he has the intellectual capacity to grasp the intricacies of the situation…As we approach Memorial Day, let us remember, whether we support the cause or not, that our brothers and sisters are putting themselves in harm’s way for what they believe in. Many will die. Many have. And the courage it takes to set foot on that plane, train or boat – the one that will take you into combat – is something we can all admire. Happy Memorial Day, and God bless.

Until next time,
Paz

Whay does he keep showing up when we google completely unrelated items? (celtics draft lottery 2007) gets you that? How? And this -- got to http://www.google.com/ . Click on Images. Type in NYC. What the hell is that first one? (if you're too lazy, it's this) oooook. Too funny to comment on -- this.