...while wondering what ever happened to BJ and the Affordables

So many idiots, so little internet. There is no Idiot of the Week award because, frankly, there were just too many idiots this week. To wit: District Judge Kristine Cecava refused to send convicted child rapist Richard Thompson to prison last week -- because, at 5'1", he is too small to defend himself in the big, mean prison. Yeah, well, things weren't too safe on the outside for his three-foot victim, now were they?...Idiot number two is, (well, was) Patrick Von Allman, 23, of Lanesville, Indiana, who was strangled to death this week by his 14' pet python. Need we explain why he was an idiot?...Continuing the Animals Fight Back portion of the Parade of Idiots, Bebe Lopez, of Queens was awarded a restraining order last week. 20 year-old Frederick Fontanez can not come within 100 yards of Bebe. Bebe is a dog...Steve Irwin. Enough said...But wait! There's more. Eddie Meadows, 62, of Orlando survived four days trapped in a swamp. Heroic? At first blush, yes -- until you hear the proverbial "rest of the story". Turns out Mr. Meadows was trapped while jogging. Through a swamp. Hey Eddie, here's your sign...President Bush defended Iraqi policy...More lunacy occurred in Stockton, California, where football coach Cory Patero, 36, stormed the field and leveled 13 year-old Joseph Santillanes, who had put a late hit on one of Patero's players. A twenty-minute brawl ensued...In a related story, 13 year-old Joseph Sanillanes had his college education completely paid for this week by being blindsided by a maniacal football coach...We don't know whether to give Atlanta Falcons wide receiver Ashley Lelie the Idiot or the Philanthropist of the Week award, but since he was probably brutalized as a boy, being named Ashley, we'll go with the latter. After sitting out the entire Denver Broncos preseason, Lelie and his $600,000 base salary were traded to the Falcons -- but not until he paid the Broncos fines totaling $982,000 for missing camp. Clearly Lelie did not major in Economics at the University of Hawaii...The baton has been passed. On the 29th of August, Alexa Ray Joel released her debut EP, entitled Sketches. Joel went the indie-label route, but clearly not for a lack of talent. Think Norah Jones, Fiona Apple and Lisa Loeb together in a studio, with Billy Joel delivering pizzas and adding some unsolicited input. That's Alexa Ray Joel. Going the indie route is a good idea, as is the current college/state fair/dive bar tour the Piano Girl is on. By starting out putting as much distance as possible between herself and dad, Alexa is setting herself up to succeed or fail on her own. But is the EP any good? Good, yes; great, no. But for a first time out, it's a good collection. She shows enough talent and diversity thereof to whet the appetite for her first full-blown, major label effort. In the meantime, compared to dad's debut, Cold Spring Harbor, Alexa's ahead of the old man. To be sure we weren't letting out innate bias for Billy affect our judgment, we ran the disk past 14 year-old Chelsea, who loved it. To judge for yourself, click here or here to hear songs from Sketches...Johnathan Eding, 29, of Fairfiled, Connecticut came home from work and was told by his wife that the neighbor, Barry James, 58, had sexually assaulted their two year-old daughter. So Eding goes next door and stabs the guy to death. Not sure how we feel about this one. One side of us wants to say, "atta boy!", but the other thinks, "man, but you killed the guy". We just hope the kid's ok. No word on how tall James was...As for the upcoming NFL season, our playoff teams are: Seattle, Carolina, NYGiants, Chicago, Philadelphia and Dallas in the NFC. Over in the AFC it'll be New England, Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Denver, Pittsburgh and Miami. Pencil in Seattle, Philadelphia, New England and Cincinnati for the Conference Finals, with New England beating Seattle in the Super Bowl. Or not...And finally, speaking of kids, Ingrate of the Week goes to Cindy Kienow, of Hutchins, KS., who received a $10,000 tip on a $26 tab last week. Yes, that's ten thousand dollars. From the AP story: "Kienow, whose father will have to take some time off work for surgery on both of his knees, said she hasn't decided what to do with the money. 'I'd like to take care of my parents, since they always took care of me,' she said. 'But I feel like he wanted me to buy something for myself, and there's a Jeep that I've had my eye on for a while.' Hmmm -- sick, old parents or shiny new Jeep. Nice kid.
Until next time,
Paz