...while wondering what ever happened to J. Fred Muggs

Nappy-haired hos. That's what it took to rouse us out of sabbatical. Nappy-haired hos. Now, on one hand we're amazed that someone would be so freaking stupid that they would refer to the Rutgers women's basketball team in such terms. Not because it's racist -- it is. Not because it's misogynistic -- it is. But because just about every chick on that team looks like she could beat Hell out of Don Imus. Don King and Don Trump, too. Still, you wonder why there is even a discussion about whether the guy should be fired. If he had called the Israeli bobsled team a bunch of "curve-hugging kikes" or the San Francisco Giants a bunch of "beatty-eyed butt-fuckers" he'd have been fired on the spot, no questions asked. But a bunch of tatted-out "hos" from the 'hood? Well, let's think about it before we punish him for his little "slip-up". Sorry. Not buying it. During the broadcast of a 1983 Monday Night Football game -- I mean middle of a play -- Howard Cosell said of Washington receiver Alvin Garrett, "that little monkey gets loose, doesn't he?" Now forget for a moment the irony in the outrage of an alleged racial slur during a Washington Redskins game -- and the fact that ABC quickly produced footage of a New York Giants/Kansas City Chiefs game in which Cosell referred to the very white Mike Adamle as a, "little monkey". Cosell was gone at the end of the season. The standard was set. And for Imus, 24 years later (my lord, is An Innocent Man that old?!?!?) to say what he said -- twice, on a talk show with a much slower pace, where he actually had time to think about what he was saying, is unfathomable. Do we think he should be fired? We don't care, because we don't listen to his show. And we believe that free speech includes freedom to make an ass of yourself. Sponsors also have freedom as do consumers. We'd like to see his ratings tank, his sponsors flee and his guest pool dry up to third-rate retreads. Then he'll be just another lonely, bitter, ignorant old man -- without a forum...This week's musical selection is Congress Hall by Ernie Halter. He gave up the shirt business and went into music. We caught him at the House of Blues in Hollywood last year and he delivered a nice set. Kind of like Ray Charles sitting in on a Wilco concert...This just in from the Beating a Dead Horse department: Still waiting foe a single, solitary WMD to be found. Speaking of a completely misguided war, hey Dems -- enough with the games. We get the point -- you want out. Hell, we all want out. But stop playing politics with it. Despite that he was the one who is ultimately responsible for our entry into Iraq, W is the only one talking sense at this point, amazingly. The solution is not to stop paying the bills, leaving soldiers in the desert with nothing but their proverbial dicks in their hands. The answer is to do what the president suggests -- flood the freaking place with every US military person available, arm them heavily and tell them to shoot anything that moves. Setting a "deadline" only tells the Bad Guys, "ok, chill until this date, then we're (s)Audi". Not gonna work. We need to obtain a firm grasp on the situation, train the hell out of the locals then GET OUT. If we don't achieve any degree of stability in the region before leaving, what was the purpose of all those deaths? I mean besides the low gas prices we're payi---nevermind...Just in from the We Told You So Department: Two years ago we asked why the Donkey Party was ramming the junior senator from Illinois down our throat. We wondered, "gee, do you think they're prepping him for a run in '08". The question remains though, other than being articulate, young and good-looking, how is this guy qualified to be president? He hasn't even lived in the country for large chunks of his life....Lest they feel picked on, we also have major problems with the Elephants. I seem to recall a whole lot of republicans were really upset with Bill Clinton when he lied about getting a blowjob in the White House. And yet the two early leaders for their party's nomination are Newt "I cheat on my wife with -- imagine that! -- a congressional aide, while simultaneously trying to get Bill impeached for the same thing" Gingrich and that gem of a (three-time) husband, Rudy Giuliani, who didn't just cheat on his wife, I mean that's so blase. No, Rudy took it a bit further, holding a press conference to announce he was leaving his wife for another woman, without having first bothered to tell said spouse, then moving the nappy haired ho into Gracie Mansion -- where his kids lived!!!! Nice guy. But to be fair to this dynamic duo, Newt says the difference is that he only failed to live up to God's standards, whereas Bill lied to congress. Yeah, and we're sure you would have fessed right up, Newt. As for Rudy, well, he was impotent from prostate cancer treatment, so he didn't really have sex with the staffer, which immediately brings two things to mind: 1) I so did not need to hear that; and 2) What is is? oh, and 3) Yeah, but you wanted to...We're probably waaaaay behind the curve on this one, but we just saw the video for Alanis Morissette's remake of the Black-Eyed Peas' My Humps. Funny stuff. See it here...Did we mention that our beloved Dallas Mavericks have secured home-court advantage throughout the NBA playoffs? Life is good. Interesting (only to us) aside: if Dallas wins its final five games, they will finish the regular season with a record of 69-13 (.841 winning pct.). We had season tickets for the 1993-94 season, when the Mavs went 13-69. And that was an improvement over the previous year's 11-71 mark. Ouch. In related news, overnight temperatures in Hell will hover at 31 tonight and be sure to get to the arena early tonight for the swine flyover following the national anthem, to be performed by Grammy-award winning singer (insert name of anyone from American Idol)...This week's Spirit award goes to the owner of this place. Think this guy's wife was pissed?...Alright, we know we've been gone a while and a recap of the year that was is probably in order, but we have bigger fish to fry today. Our devotion to the Almighty Dallas Mavericks is well-documented. But what about the other sports? With all our globe-trotting, our allegiances have been all over the board. Lest we get dubbed front-runners in the event one of our teams actually wins, , it's time to declare our love. Let's start with the easy ones. NFL -- we'll always be Browns backers. None of that Raven shit, mind you. And Bud still got screwed. In hockey, we really don't care, so we'll go with the Stars, since we're stuck in Dallas for the time being, with the Islanders as our second team, until the finals, when we will always root for the Canadian team. It's their game. We only screwed it up. We have little interest in college sports and less knowledge, so here's the breakdown: we will pull for any team from Philadelphia, South Carolina or Southern California. We will pull for any Catholic school. We will always pull for the underdog. We will always hate Duke. Except the lacrosse team. They throw good parties. (we can say that now, since the charges were dropped). Finally, the hardest one -- baseball. We grew up a Phillies phan. We, inexplicably, became both a Dodger and Padre fan while living in SoCal. (we have just pissed off everyone we know there, on both sides). We currently reside in Dallas, where the Rangers' season ends around the 1st of each June, so we'd feel cheated if we went with those rag-arms. Gotta stick with mom and the Phils. If the Dodgers or Pads win, we won't be pissed. Can we do that?...With the Association coming down to its last five games, give the final two playoff slots to the Magic in the East and the Warriors out west. Postseason predictions to come...and finally, while researching for this posting, why did this come up when googling images for "Rutgers women's basketball"?...and no, I did not know there really was an Israeli bobsled team until I went looking for an image to hyperlink to it.

Until next time,

Paz