...while wondering what ever happened to Roberto Duran

So St. Louis Cardinals' pitcher Josh Hancock got drunk, got into his car, decided it was a good idea to strike up a conversation on his cell phone, wrapped himself around a tree an died. At age 29, this would qualify as a tragic, stupid, needless loss of life. We do not dispute that. But the Cardinals canceling their game the next night against the Chicago Cubs? Why? This is reminiscent of something that really bothered us in the wake of the September 11 terrorist attacks. Major League Baseball shut it down for a week or so, saying that it "wouldn't be appropriate" to play games in such a time. Now, these are the same people that defend every act of greed, petulance and arrogance with the mantra, "it's a business". Well, in September of 2001, employed at a hotel --"a business", our ass was right there working on the 12th. And we guarantee you if the guy in the cube next door croaks tonight, we'll be expected to be right here tomorrow morning. And we'll have to do his work, too! So don't tell us it wouldn't be appropriate for you to do your freaking job!...But the big question is this: what's harder to keep in stock, Cardinals pitchers or New Jersey Governors?...Speaking of dead athletes, enough already about Pat Tillman. Guy walks away from millions in the NFL and joins the army. Gets sent to Iraq, gets killed. Hero. OK, we get it. Well, turns out the guy was killed by friendly fire. That's sad. But ya know, when you go to a war, you just might die. And in the end, dead is dead. Now the family is flipping out because they were originally told a different story -- that Tillman died in a heroic standoff with fire-breathing ambushers. Apparently the government lied. Ya think? So what? Would it have made it somehow better knowing that he was shot by Alan and not Achmed? Of course not. And if a fake story of heroism can lift the spirits of other people fighting and dying in a foreign desert, wouldn't you want him to be a part of that? These are the same family members who went out of their way to tell the story of their hero son. Hate to tell you folks, they are all heroes. It's sad that Tillman died. And it's sad that Jessica Lynch got captured and held prisoner. Now name for us the black guy that was captured with her. We didn't think so...Now, we were all set to give big props to Versus (formerly the Outdoor Life Channel) for their superb coverage of the NHL playoffs. Then they did something that we're still trying to believe happened -- and we saw it. On Monday night, they replayed the Ray "Boom-Boom" Mancini/Duk-Koo Kim fight, from 1982. That's the fight where Mancini killed Kim. Literally. After 10 rounds, the fight was even on most scorecards. Mancini began to pull ahead over the next three rounds, finally knocking Kim down in the 14th. Kim rose, but the fight was immediately stopped. Shortly thereafter, Kim collapsed. He never regained consciousness. He was 23 years old. A year later, the fight's referee, Richard Greene, killed himself. Three months later, Kim's mother did the same. And while Duk-Koo Kim's death resulted in some major changes in the way boxing matches were handled, (reduction from 15 to 12-round bouts, mandatory and standing eight counts and more in-depth pre-fight medical examinations most notably), what the hell was it doing on television 25 years later? An appalling programing choice...This just in from the "'At'll teach 'em" Department, Jeremy Zmolek, 47, of Dallas was arrested this week for shooting a 15 year old boy in the leg with a pellet gun. According to police, several teens were loitering outside Zmolek's house when he asked why they weren't at school. The kids responded cursing and -- we love this -- asking why he wasn't at work. So he shot at them. We hope he gets off...Musical Review of the week found us attending two concerts last week: Billy Joel in Oklahoma City and Gwen Stefani in Dallas. You know what we thought of the Billy show. As for Gwen, we took the scatterkid and two of her friends. We thought we'd be in hell. And when something called Lady Sovereign opened the show, we were convinced. But then we listened to her and she wasn't half bad. We could have done without our 14 year-old daughter jumping up and down singing the chorus to, "Fuck You". But other than that, we survived it. Next up was Akon and, amazingly, we recognized like five songs. And liked them. Apparently he's had some scrapes with trouble lately and lost a sponsor. So he took the money they paid him for the show -- the last of the deal -- and tossed it into the crowd. (Can you say inciting a riot). Fortunately it was too damned hot and humid for anyone to have the energy to fight for it. Eventually, Gwen came on and played for about an hour and a half. The interludes between songs went a little too long, presumeably to accommodate costume changes, to the point that the break between the show proper and the encore was not very distinguishable from others. And in an odd sequencing, she left none of her hits for the encore, which consisted of two songs. While she played none of the No Doubt material, what she did play was well sung, her band was very versatile and her demeanor engaging. And with a ticket price of sixteen bucks, it was definitely a value as concert season ramps up. If you have a free night and are a passing fan or more, we recommend the "Sweet Escape" tour...Last time out, we pledged our devotion to the Dallas Stars and New York Islanders. Who promptly went out and got beat in the first round. So just for shits and giggles, here are our second round choices -- based in no way on the actual abilities of the teams or their players who we cannot name: New York Rangers over Buffalo Sabres because Madison Square Garden retired Billy Joel's number. Seriously. (Buffalo won in 6); Ottawa Senators over New Jersey Devils because we always pull for the Canadians. (Ottawa won in 5); San Jose Sharks over Detroit Red Wings because despite how limited out hockey knowledge is, we know enough to hate Detroit. (Detroit won in 6); Vancouver Canucks over Anaheim Ducks because we always pull for the Canadians (Anaheim won in 5). With the exception of the Senators, our futility remains unblemished. We're 1-5. In the Conference finals, our picks are Ottawa and Anaheim (eventually the New Uniform Rule has to take over)...And finally, the NBA. While we had to wait for all the first-round series to be over before publishing and as a result the second round has already started, all analysis was written before any of the series tipped off.

EASTERN CONFERENCE

(1) Detroit Pistons vs (5) Chicago Bulls

Both teams took care of business in the first round, thrashing weaker teams. One would have thought going in that Chicago may have had the tougher out, facing the defending Champions (we picked Miami in 7), but the Heat looked so old, slow and just flat-out bad that the series is probably not a good measure of their ability. This series will come down to a simple equation: which disparity is greater -- the Detroit's talent edge or their horrid coach? While Flip will do nothing to help the Pistons win this series, the talent is there to win this one. But it will not be in a walk.
Detroit in 6

(2) Cleveland Cavaliers vs (6) Brooklyn Nets

Yuck. Cleveland continues to play down to the level of its competition. But at times they also can play up to it as well. The Nets beat a better team in Toronto than the Cavs did in the WNBA-caliber Wizards. There is just no way to pick this dreck. So, not because it's a clash of titans, but because they are both so uninspiring, we'll say it'll be a long series.
New Jersey in 7

WESTERN CONFERENCE

(8) Golden State Warriors vs (4) Utah Jazz

Wow. The Warriors beat down a 67-win team and it didn't even look close. It went six, but in reality, if not for a miracle comeback -- after blowing a 22-point lead -- in Game 5, the series would have ended right then and there. The W's were better in every facet of the game and are not a team to be taken lightly going forward. Utah had to go seven to beat a very mediocre Rockets squad. (look at the guy leering in the background -- classic). This series will be an interesting match up of coaching strategies. Unless Utah comes out in Game 1 and smacks Golden State down, shaking their confidence, the Warriors could very well find themselves in the Western Conference Finals.
Golden State in 6

(2) Phoenix Suns vs (3) San Antonio Spurs.

Wow. A fantastic series. And no Mavericks on the horizon for the winner. Every game in this series will come down to the wire. The Suns are younger, more athletic and deeper than San Antonio. The Spurs have better coaching and all those rings. Game 7 is in the desert though.
Phoenix in 7

Correction: This is Earl Cureton. This is not. Oops...and Finally, ok, this isn't a member of the Rockets' dance squad, but when we went looking, we found this. Damn!

Until next time,
Paz