...while wondering what ever happened to Wendy Jo Sperber

So the Texas Rangers and Tampa Bay Devil Rays played their series this week in Orlando -- at a minor league park. Sometimes this shit just writes itself...You've got to like a challenge. Rich crazy guy T. Boone Pickens this week donated $50 Million to the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center at Dallas, with one hitch: UTSW cannot touch any of it until they turn it into $500 Million, and they have 25 years to do it. If they fall short, they get the 50 Mil, but anything they made above it, they must then re-donate to the University of Oklahoma. Wasn't T. Boone one of the old guys in Trading Places?...Big props to the unnamed dude in Japan that left his kid at a drop box. The country recently introduced drop boxes, which presumably are checked fairly often, where parents can leave unwanted infants, much like people here can do so at the local fire station. Why are we giving the guy kudos? His kid was five. C'mon, like you've never threatened your kid/nephew/annoying Dennis the Menace-like neighbor boy with the very same thing. The clipping is posted prominently on the fridge for our 14 year-old to see. And fear...Speaking of fun with babies, Idiot of the Week goes to Joshua Mauldin of Arkansas, who nuked his two-month-old daughter in the microwave. Dude -- kids get gummy in the microwave; next time use the toaster oven -- or. (By the by, kid lived and is recovering in the hospital)...The Phoenix Suns got screwed. Robert Horry goes all NHL on Steve Nash, two Suns leave the bench, are stopped well short of the potential fracas and thy get suspended for a critical Game Five. Yes, they left the bench, but the rule reads that a player will be suspended a game if they, "leave the immediate vicinity of the bench", during an on-court confrontation. There was wiggle room there and the league should have used it to spare Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw. With the atrocious nature of the officiating as a whole during this season's playoffs, it's not like David Stern is protecting the integrity of the game by treating the Suns so harshly. What a shame that something like this could very well decide the NBA Championship -- because whoever wins this series is going to win it all. (this from the folks who brought you the Dallas Mavericks Victory Parade Committee)...And could LeBron James be any more a dog? I mean dude -- you're supposed to be The Man. Of the whole league. And you go ghost for two consecutive elimination games. Yuck...And we say it again -- Flip Saunders is the worst coach in the NBA. The guy is horrible. The Pistons go up 3-0 and he doesn't have his team ready for the closeout in Game Four. OK, the Bulls are no pushover; they're due at least one. But to then get waxed in Game Five? We figured Flip the Rally-killer wouldn't show up until June, but don't be shocked if Detroit gets run by the Bulls. (we did it again, didn't we?)...Bigger props to Stacy Rojas of Dallas, who suffered a brain aneurysm over the Easter weekend and hung out on life support until last weekend so she could give birth to her daughter. Dad and kid are fine and mom donated all her organs, too...Bubba Ludwig, of Chicago, was issued a gun permit this week. Bubba is a ten-month old boy. Dad won't be leaving that kid at the fire house...Hey Jerry, whose fault was it this time? Feminists, gays, Teletubbies? You won't be missed...So Farmers Branch, Texas has officially passed an ordinance making it illegal to rent an apartment to an illegal alien. And of course, all hell is breaking loose. Now here at Scattershooting we have a long-standing, well-documented position on immigration. In short, if you can pass a background check and will get a job, come on in. But if you are here illegally, then by definition shouldn't renting you an apartment be illegal also? How is this not logical? It is not racist. If our white neighbor was on the lam and we rented him the garage apartment, we'd be breaking the law -- it's called harboring a fugitive. This is no different. Now, if you want to change the laws -- and we do -- to ones more favorable to potential legal immigrants, then so be it. But the law is the law. If you're here illegally, you should not be able to get a job, a home or anything else that every single legal person in this country does not already have. Until that time, go back and come in the right way...So the VA is cutting our medical benefits because of a $1.3 Billion budget shortfall, yet found over $11 Million in bonuses for the bigwigs. Nice. Isn't it interesting that when the Vice President of the United States recently had heart problems, he didn't go to Walter Reed VA Medical Center? Must just be a coincidence...Let's get our disappointment out of the way early. ABC will be debuting a new comedy in the fall, based on the Geico Cavemen. There's no way this thing lives up to our expectations...And finally, congratulations to Dirk Nowitzki on his selection as NBA MVP. Now that the major awards are all out, we'll review our pre-season picks, update them with our final ballot and compare to the actual winners, next week.

Until then,
Paz

OK, in another 'what the hell is this' search, when googling "Dennis Rodman baby" in an effort to find a cute little freak to hyperlink above, we found -- and we warn you in advance that it5 is very disturbing -- this. Warned you.