...while wondering what ever happened to Pascual Perez

So many idiots, so little time. Who do we go with this week? Do we honor this gem from Wolf Blitzer? Or this rant by Babs Bush? How about FEMA head Michael Brown who accomplished all of the following: turned down AMTRAK's offer to transport evaccuees, turned away volunteer firefighters from seven states, denied entry to Wal-Mart supply trucks, blocked the Red Cross from delivering food, barred morticians from entering New Orleans, told the City of Chicago to send just one fire truck, turned away generators and had the following message posted on the FEMA website: "First Responders Urged Not to Respond". Nice. How about Rush Limbaugh calling New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin, "Mayor Nager"? Yes, he really did. Of course there is the comically idiotic, as well. Take John and Rhonda Till, of San Antonio, who named their newborn son Parker Duncan Ginobili Till. Thank goodness my child was a girl. Poor kid would be walking around as Iuzzolino Harper Hodge Bates...John Cazano of The Oregonian reports that the entire mood around Blazers headquarters has changed in recent months. Said Cazano, "This isn't the same as when Zach Randolph cold-cocked Ruben Patterson two seasons ago, breaking his eye socket, then was chased around the facility, and later had to spend the night, in hiding, at Dale Davis' house because Randolph feared for his life." Ah, the good old days...With all of the amnesty cuts this offseason, espn.com's John Simmons wonders what would have happened had Vince Carter known the possibilty existed that he could have been cut by Toronto, still been paid and picked up a second check elsewhere, a la Michael Finley. Simmons asked, "what would he have been capable of? Would he have just started launching 3s at his own basket? Blocking the shots of his own teammates? Showing up naked for games? Where would the line have been drawn?"...So, upon hearing of Barbara Bush's comments, Juelz Santana told SOHH.com that Bush's comments sounded like the words of "a stupid bitch." "No disrespect and I really don't mean that, but that sounds like something a stupid bitch would say to me," Juelz offered. "For that to come out of somebody's mouth at a situation like this, the first thing to come out of my mouth would be 'Which stupid bitch said that?' I don't have no personal vendetta against her, so for anybody to say that at a time like this, I would reply with that answer like what type of bitch said that?" OK. 1) Who the hell is Juelz Santana? 2) What the hell is sohh.com? 3) How does one call someone a "stupid bitch", with no offense?...OK, I tried. I really did. I actually sat down with the intent of watching an entire WNBA game. I figured, "this is the championship -- the best of the best. Surely it must be watchable. Wrong. It's just horrific. Turnovers, missed five-foot jumpers, horrible fundamentals. In all honesty, the game is not appreciably better than a junior high school girls game. Garbage. Absolute garbage. But I tried...Could the ChiSox really choke? Can the Padres hold off the Giants? Will God do the right thing and strike down Barry Bonds before he hits number 714? Will Maureen's Phillies make it back to the post-season?...Shaquile O'Neal has personally rented 600 Dallas apartments and offered to pay rent, food, utilities, clothing and furniture for six months. Wow. Be kinda neat if the federal government had some type of agency to help peaople in trouble, wouldn't it? You know, like a Federal Emergency Management Agency. I wonder why no one's thought of that...We didn't fare so well in Week One of the NFL season, going 7-9. So don't bet on us until we work the kinks out. This weeks winners (straight-up, no spread): Vikings over Bungles, Jags over Colts, Steelers over Texans, Ravens over Titans, Lions (and Tigers) over Bears (oh my!), Pats over Cats, Cards over Rams (St. Louis vs. Cardinals -- weird), Falcons over Seahawks, Jets over 'Phins, Bolts over Broncos, Packers over Browns :(, Raiders over Chiefs, Giants over Saints and 'Pokes over 'Skins...until next time:
Paz