...while wondering what ever happened to Danny Ozark

We just couldn't help ourselves a few weeks back when it came to choosing a hyper-link for the collapse of a Major League Baseball team. Here's hoping Karma took the day off. Gene Mauch, dead at 79...Also dead, our favorite Canadian. Ah Peter, we hardly knew ye...And completing the medical report, former South Carolina governor, would-be presidential candidate and regular target of our pre-internet-era, 'letter to the editor' attacks, Carroll Campbell was admitted to a nursing home this week, six years after disclosing he suffers from Alzheimer's disease. He was only 59 at time...Congratulations to Ray Guy, the first punter to be enshrined at the College Football Hall of Fame. He's still one scary-looking cat, though...Now our love for hockey owners is long-standing and well documented, but they really have outdone themselves this time. Not only did they compel players to accept a salary cap and a 24% across-the-board pay cut; not only did they shut the whole damned thing down for a year, making these guys lose a whole year's salary; now that the league is open for business once again, free agents are averaging a 43% pay cut. I love this game!...Am I the only one who is lucky enough to be "the one-millionth visitor" to a website almost daily?...Former scattershot target Gary Hogeboom spotted as a contestant on the upcoming season of Survivor. Like I would make something like that up...In Arkansas, workers began destroying vials and bottles containing mustard gas and other chemicals developed by the US Army for "training purposes". The items were declared obsolete in 1971, which immediately brings two thoughts to my mind: 1) Why are they just now destroying them? 2) Well, at least the Army finally found some weapons of mass destruction...Natalee Holloway! Week Eleven! Complete with twenty-seven new national reports in the last 24 hours. 442 days after the disappearance of Tamika Huston, police have made an arrest. The story was reported by two national media outlets. LaToyia Figueroa has been missing for 26 days. The last national report on her case was eight days ago...This week's Perseverance Award goes to Cindy Sheehan, presently camped out in front of the President's Crawford, Texas digs. She's awaiting the answer to two simple questions: "Why was my 24 year-old son's life worth losing in Iraq?" and, "If the cause is so just, why are your daughters not over there?" Sound like reasonable questions to me. Unless -- gasp! -- they lied to us...OJ has finally been convicted. Of stealing Direct TV services. I knew he did it! If the cable doesn't fit -- well, you know the rest...The Loyalty Award for the week goes to Laker fan Jack Nicholson who is currently filming The Departed in Boston and has banned all Celtics gear from the set...Puzzle me this, Batman: how can Peyton Manning win the ESPY for Best NFL Player, beating out both quarterbacks who actually played in the Super Bowl?...Former scattershot target Heath Shuler spotted running for congress in North Carolina...Desperate at this point to avoid reality garbage, reruns and the horrid summer fare out there? Check out Comedy Central's Stella and FX's It's always Sunny in Philadelphia. The former? Think Seinfeld, but with no plot. Exactly. The latter? Well, TV Guide describes it as a show about, "a trio of borderline racist, homophobic pals" who went to Catholic school together. In other words, I get to go to a family reunion every week without having to fly cross-country...The Ingenuity Award for the week goes to Rep. Mark Pettis (R), WI, who seeks to lower the Badger State's drinking age for military personnel from 21 to 18. Makes sense: old enough to die and all. But the ingenuity comes in when he realized that lowering the age limit would cost the state its federal highway funds. His solution? A resolution lowering fines to $5 for soldiers 18 and 19 caught drinking...And finally, there are some just plain weird things on the internet. While looking for images to hyperlink into this entry, I came across this. Huh?...Until next time,
Paz