29 September 2008

...while wondering what ever happened to James Stockdale:

Why does fandango.com exist? Seriously. We have only one time in our life ever been unable to get into a movie we wanted to see. And that was in 1978, when there were like ten movie theaters in all of Philadelphia, with one, maybe two screens each. And the movie was Rocky II, which was filmed there, so people thought dude was real. So what we're saying here is that it was the perfect storm of moviegoing circumstance. Fast-forward 30 years. There are like a bazillion theaters in every city, with about 24 screens in each. Most movies are shown at least four, five times a day, with the bigger titles showing on multiple screens. So what could one possibly need with Fandango? The longest we've probably waited in line in the last five years would be ten minutes -- and even that is probably longer than it really was. So why would we buy tickets online from a third-party and pay a service fee? Fandango customers are like Rams fans and the state of Montana -- we've heard of them but will not believe in their actual existence until we see them with our own eyes...Ah Paul, we hardly knew ye...If their games ended after six innings, the New York Mets would have won the National League East by 10 games. Unfortunately, Major League Baseball games go nine. So while the Philadelphia Phillies celebrate their first division championship since 1993, the Metropolitans can regal in their 2008 National League Eastern Division Little League Championship...As for the upcoming postseason, we'll go with Philadelphia over the Milwaukee Brewers, the Los Angeles Dodgers in an upset over the Chicago Cubs, The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim over the BoSox (although we'll be rooting for Boston) and the Chicago White Sox over the Tampa Bay (don't call me devil) Rays. Philly over LA in a throwback series and L.A. o A. over Tampa, with Orange County taking home the big prize, in six over the Phitin's...As an aside, please note that the formerly satanic Rays had never had a winning season in their history. This year they won their first division title. The Phillies had not won a postseason game since the game before the Joe Carter game, in the 1993 World Series. They won the opener to their series yesterday. The common theme? That's right -- new freakin' uniforms! U-F'er reigns supreme...Don't look for Joe Biden to destroy Sarah Palin tonight, as is widely thought. For our money, we have her coming up short on details and resorting to snarkiness, which will play well to the Republicans and give Tina Fey a good decade's worth of fodder. In the end, the "liberal elitist media" will give the win to Biden, but Palin will get in enough completely-unrelated-to-the-question zingers to allow the delusional right to claim a spunky victory. And so it goes...Big BIG props to the House Republicans for having the 'nads to shoot down the bailout. And imagine that -- the Dow rebounded the next day! Still, they'll end up passing this damned thing on us anyway. Good thing we can't get any broker than we already are.
Until next time,
Paz

*All predictions made before first pitch in the respective series. We're just lazy.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with everything...except of course, Phillies over the Dodgers! We shall see...perhaps a friendly wager? Can't wait to see you!

Kelly

12:49 PM CDT  

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